Greetings one and all and welcome to my life. Thank you for caring. I am the great Ardvarko Cowcow, denzien of the internet and all around swell kind of guy. You may call me Doug.

Now, I’ve been on the internet for quite some time and things have changed. No longer are just the nerds (like me) hunched over Notepad (notepad is a trademark of evil microsoft, all hail them cause even though they are evil, their things work just fine) creating marvelous things that could be viewed from the average 14.4 modem. I still have one of those, don’t laugh.

I have moved on however. My university, the great University of North Carolina at Wilmington, has given me great internet accessing speed to greatly increase my hourly pornography consumption, because after all, why else would one go on the net?? I mean, it’s not as if there’s anything to do here. Have you ever actually surfed the net?? It’s boring and useless. You end up at pages like these. And mine’s one of the better ones. Sad, no?

So what should you do after you’ve finished reading my whole site?? Well, go looking for the following such things:

The bands of They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Moxy Fruvous, and Metallica make good places to check out some tunes. Also be sure to check out all around great guy Weird Al Yankovic. You know you love ‘em, you just won’t admit to it.

For more animated entertaiment (it’s a bad joke, don’t throw tomatoes at me), check out sites on the cartoons of Transformers, Voltron, Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z, Thundercats, and some of those new ones on Cartoon Network. You know you love ‘em, you just haven’t watched them yet. :)

And in case you haven’t noticed, no the highlighted words are not links, that would require effort. That’s why they made search engines.

In closing, I would like to make a plea to the world, just this one thing: Quit being stupid!

Thank you and good night

--Ardvarko Cowcow, you guide to nicehood :)

[home]